Bloody Ears
by Ailahy
Summary: He hurt...his heart hurt, his mind hurt, and he wanted the other to understand... I suck at summaries ZackxCloud
1. Earrings

OK ONE THING FIRST…..

PLEASE READ THIS

This is a RAPE fic, if you don't like DON'T READ

ITS SIMPLE AS THAT

I do not own the characters from FFVII

And yes there is a LOT OF BLOOD AND PAIN

I cried while I wrote this

Bloody Ears

Zack was angry, flustered and upset. He marched through the hallways of the cadet barracks, his boots clomping heavily on the clean tile unlike his usual bounce, heading towards the place he needed to go to, his mind betraying him and his eyes burning.

_It was really late._

This past week in Modeoheim had been traumatizing, saddening and disappointing. Having to kill your teacher who had turned suicidal because of the monstrous materials that had been put inside his mother, something no one should ever have to do. Running into the abandoned bath house, he came across Professor Hollander and his fat ass nearly pinned against a wall by the sharp point of Angeals sword. He advanced but quickly retreated, that same sharp angled point twisting its way to his neck almost breaking the skin. Angeal looked hurt, eyes showing confusion and hate, and as Hollander spouted complete bullshit that antagonized Angeal to the point of shouting, he dropped the tip from his neck and walked away seemingly deep in his own thoughts. Angeal looked at Zack, before calling the monsters to him, and giving Zack the X-shaped scar on his cheek. But he did it. At first he was sad, grieving, tears streaming down his face. He became frustrated, upset because of the reason his mentor wanted to kill himself.

Remembering it now, Zack huffed under his breath, continuing quickly on his way, eyes burning at the painful memory. He was angry now, still not understanding the reason of his mentor's suicidal ways and he clenched his fists, the scuffs of his boots on the tile quickening.

_Almost there._

Not only was that upsetting him, the fact that he had killed the first class SOLDIER Genesis only days before was festering on his mind. He hated the man, his reasoning for abandoning the company selfish, and disgusting. It made him want to throw up. His degrading body had come to meet him as he ran down into the mako reactor, and came across a sword swinging past his face. His body was slowly destroying itself, his face had grown pale and his hair had thick grey streaks, his abnormally red attire showing signs of wear and faded color. It disgusted him. Zack never even got the chance to murder him, the last he saw of the disgusting man was when he had thrown himself over the bars and deeper into the mako reactor supposedly killing himself.

_He had reached the door._

He didn't bother knocking, stepping into the apartment-like threshold with a aura of anger and confusion. Closing the door behind himself he marched into the bedroom, finding a sleepy-eyed blonde sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

_He wanted to cry._

He walked over, and, not waiting for the boy to stand up, leaned down and crashed their lips together harshly, teeth clicking painfully. The blonde, still not fully awake, wrapped his sinewy arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss slowly, and lovingly, smiling softly in the way that only Zack knew.

_The boy would never understand._

He was only 16, his life full of death and sadness, painful memories and disgusting misunderstandings. He hurt. His body ached from exhaustion, his heart swelled with anger and sadness. He was angry, and upset. He ran his hands up the boy's neck twisting his fingers tightly and painfully into the blonde bed-head hair that could be seen as his insignia. A shaky moan reached his ears as the blonde pushed into the kiss, pulling him closer and reaching up, running his hands through soft black locks that surrounded his head.

_He hurt._

He pushed into the kiss more, bruising lips and biting tongue, hands gripping tighter into the coarse golden locks. He pushed the fourteen year old roughly into the bed and straddled his hips. In turn, Cloud ran his hands lightly down his chest, intent on taking his shirt off and gazing at those hard, lean muscles.

_He wanted Cloud to understand._

Pulling back for just a second, he pulled off his shirt before leaning down and attacking his neck. Fully awake now, Cloud leaned his head to the side, moaning softly and clutching to the back of Zack's head. Zack growled and bit down harshly, causing a yelp and a small stream of blood. He continued downward with his assault, leaving harsh bruises mixed with trails of blood.

"Zack….you're hurting me…" The younger protested weakly, panting lightly clutching at his back.

_He didn't care._

Zack bit down on his collarbone hard, teeth sinking into the skin and creating a small gash on his neckline. A weak cry of pain reached his ears and he tore off his gloves, before moving to rip off the loose shirt the young boy was wearing as pajamas. Cloud panted, eyes closed tightly in pain. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. Zack was never this rough.

_But he was tonight._

Zack raked his nails down the pallid chest, leaving scraped skin and small spots of blood before he moved his teeth there, biting, not kissing, his way down. He dug his fingers and nails into the hips that were squirming beneath him.

"Zack…stop, please…." Cloud panted weakly. He was worried, almost scared, as the pleasurable kisses and soft touched escalated into those that drew blood and were meant to hurt. It felt good, for a time, but it was relentless, and it hurt much more than he would ever want. Sure, he liked it rough sometimes, but not to this rough, never drawing blood. He had never seen Zack like this, so possessive and angry, so primitive and upset. Cloud reached down and took the older teens face in his hands, pulling him up and looking into his eyes.

_He was terrified now._

Cloud let go almost instantly and with a slight gasp tried to scramble away. His eyes were filled with outrage and sadness, the emotions overflowing in the glowing bright amythest of his eyes. He squirmed roughly underneath him, begging to get away, scrambling, terrified and hurt. Zack was bigger, and stronger, however, and held the boy down tightly, grabbing his shoulders roughly and slamming him back into the mattress.

"Don't move." Two words, filled with so much anger and confusion, Cloud didn't understand why. He kept his mouth shut and did what he was told, eyes closed tightly and tears burning at the rims of his eyes.

_Zack wanted to hurt him._

He wanted to make Cloud feel pain. True pain. The pain that brought blood boiling over and bruises scarring skin, he wanted to make him understand what he was going through, make him understand what his pain felt like, the true extent, and have him understand.

Reaching over, Zack grabbed Clouds wrists painfully tight, enough to leave bruises, as he continued his assault down his chest. He moved up again biting and sucking before he reached his ear.

Cloud turned his head, tears spilling from one eye, and whispered shakily, "Zack please… stop….you don't have to do this."

_But he did._

His anger flared then, and slowly, teasingly he wrapped his tongue around the soft skin of the boy's earlobe, teeth grazing the small metal stud that was there. Cloud gasped.

"No…Zack no…please!" He was practically sobbing now, tears falling down both cheeks and his arms and body flailing as he tried to free himself of the painful grip.

_It didn't work._

Zack bit down hard around the earring and ripped it out of his ear. A loud, almost piercing scream came from the younger blonde who was now sobbing and crying uncontrollably underneath him. It was painful, it hurt his ears. Letting the metal fall from his mouth, he moved to quickly tie Clouds hands up against the headboard with his belt.

_There was blood everywhere._

He quickly pulled down the boys pants, ravishing and biting his thighs and groin, the younger still shamelessly aroused. He pulled down his own pants, the blonde breathing heavily and fighting against his restraints. It wasn't working. Zack flipped him over onto his stomach, the blood already staining the back of his neck and dripping down the other side, and his arms twisting painfully, nearly cutting off his circulation.

_His back was bare. _

He reached up, slowly digging his nails into the soft shoulder blades and raked them down his back, creating long slick gashes that swelled up with blood quickly, the blonde letting out a ragged, weak cry of pain, and shuddered roughly under his touch.

_There was no preparation._

Grabbing the slender hips he thrust into the tight hot passage and groaned. Cloud cried out again, gripping the restraints tightly, the only thing he could hold onto as his body was ravaged and raped. Zack was relentless, his thrusts hard and rough, tears dripping down Clouds cheek and chin as he sobbed.

Cloud came first, embarrassed and scared. It hurt, as he released, panting and sobbing. Zack came roughly after body shuddering and groaning lightly. He reached up and untied the belt before pulling out and putting on his pants, leaving the bloody shaking body of the young fourteen-year-old boy behind him, and left.

_It had hurt._


	2. Blood

He lay there, bleeding and hurt, sobbing in disbelief. There was no way, absolutely no way that was Zack.

_But it had been._

Cloud shook his head, wincing before reaching up and feeling his ear, his hand coming back covered in blood. His eyes grew wide and he shivered, nauseated and horrified. Choking on the sobs that racked his body, he stood up, whimpering and gasping lightly at the pain he was in.

_There was so much blood._

He felt woozy, and clutching his head he limped and struggled to the bathroom to clean up. He looked up into the mirror and immediately wished he hadn't. The bites and scratches Zack had given him were all bleeding, the blood smearing around his chest, some of the thick liquid dripping down his body. *he looked down and forced himself to take a deep breath. He got a wet cloth and started wiping away at the blood on his legs, slowly moving up to his chest and stomach and on his neck. The rag he used was soaked in blood; he would have to throw it away.

_What about his ear?_

Cloud looked into the mirror again. His ear was still bleeding, the blood dripping down his neck and shoulder, staining the ends of his hair. He reached up and cleaned the wound gently with another cloth, gently putting pressure on it to help stop the bleeding. When he was sure it was stopped he took the rag away.

_He choked._

The earring had been a gift from his mother when he was eight. That was when he first pierced his ear; he never took that earring out. After putting small bandages on his already sore wounds he turned and limped painfully back to his bed.

_It was soaked in blood._

That's when he completely broke down. He sobbed, and cried, confused and terrified. His chest hurt, his neck hurt, his ear hurt. He lie on the floor of his apartment like compound, and let the hurt take him over, let his emotions run away, and let himself close off to the world.

He didn't see Zack for weeks after that. He didn't want to. He was terrified of the man he loved. His bites and cuts were about healing, and his ear was slowly piecing itself together again, although there would always be a scar. He hated Zack, he hated him for doing this too him, but at the same time it didn't matter.

_He wasn't there anymore._

He hardly looked at anyone, hardly said anything, and when he did it was because he was asked a question of because he absolutely needed something. It was rare. He didn't know what to do.


	3. Elevator

Months later

_Zack was sorry._

Except that wasn't the word.

There was no word to right what he had done,

_He didn't deserve to be forgiven._

He thought about it day and night, the way Cloud had pleaded, the way Zack had ignored him, the way that his cries were those of pain, not pleasure.

They met for this first time in an elevator. Coincidental and unplanned Cloud had hardly even looked up until he saw the enormous sword behind the man's back. He gasped and his eyes went wide and he scooted into the corner farthest away from him, heart racing and eyes bright with fear and recognition. Zack was there, he didn't dare look up.

_His ear started to throb._

Hoping he was invisible he stayed perfectly still, the floor he was going to only five floors away. He wanted to be lucky, get off this elevator that suddenly seemed to hot and too crowded, even though they were the only ones in it.

_Four floors._

His mind was racing; his heard was pounding, almost going deaf from the rushing of blood in his ears. He wondered if Zack heard it, his fear that was practically boiling over ready to consume him and rape him against the wall like Zack had done months ago.

_Three floors._

He watched the floor indicator, the soft beeping noise almost taunting as it counted up to the floor he needed.

_The elevator stopped._

He froze as a loud banging noise against the wall of the elevator was heard, causing the system to react, shutting down the elevator and turning on the dim yellow emergency lights. He didn't look over just stayed still watching the man who had done it out of the corner of his eyes. He tried to calm down, to relax, and think of other things.

_It didn't work._

They sat there for what seemed like hours, time forgotten and ignored, all of his thoughts focused on every movement of the other man. The man he had once loved with all of his heart, the man he would have done absolutely anything for, the man that raped him.

_He shivered._

He closed his eyes and let out a silent shaky sigh. He was so high strung about this entire situation that he was ready to break through those metal doors and run out screaming. He wouldn't though; he couldn't though, he was afraid, terrified of the man that was standing next to him in the elevator.

_Strong footsteps._

His worse fear was being realized as the man walked the three steps it took to get to the other side of the elevator, pinning the boy against the metal walls using his massive body and arms, looking down at him with eyes full of sorrow.

_He's different._

It wasn't the angry Zack that had ravaged him and hurt him so much, his eyes had changed. But even so, the memories came flooding back and he choked back a sob as he pressed himself harder up against the wall, wanting to get away, get out of this elevator and run for his life.

_This man could kill him._

He very well knew it. His strong hands and arms surrounded him like a prison, not allowing him to escape. As the man leaned closer to the side of his head, he closed his eyes, clutching at the wall behind him, panting in fear.

_He had never been this scared._

The man gently pressed their opposite cheeks together, stubble scratching gently along Clouds skin. He flinched away, but the feeling followed, staying firmly connected. The man pressed against him moved his head forward more, gently pressing his warm lips to Clouds scarred earlobe. Zack pulled back and stayed there, feeling his soft warmth and his comforting aura.

_He almost passed out._

Still shivering and heart racing with fear, the man pulled back more, looking deeply into the younger's eyes. Zack's filled with sorrow and compassion, Clouds, with fear and confusion. Cloud kept his mouth shut tightly, lips almost turning white from the pressure. He closed his eyes tightly, not wanted to look at the man anymore, afraid he would suddenly get angry and hurt him again.

_Zack sighed._

And with that soft sigh he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Clouds. Cloud twisted his head, avoiding the kiss and showing him the scarred ear once again. Zack frowned and sighed softly, moving one hand too gently, ever so gently trace his thumb over the marred flesh. He leaned forward, gently kissing it again.

_The elevator started to move._

Zack muttered a single sentence.

"_Don't ever forgive me."_

And with that, the elevator stopped once more on its appropriate floor and Zack got off, walking away quickly and almost rushed. Cloud slumped down to the floor shaking and panting, ear throbbing and pained. He brought his knees up to his chest and hid his face.

_Two more floors._

_One more floor._

_He was there._

He got off the elevator and walked away, back to his compound and back to his home. He went inside, and closed the door behind him. Leaning on the wooden frame he looked up at the ceiling and sighed, closing his eyes, deep in thought.

During the months they were apart Cloud had learned more than a few things that had happened during that week long mission in Modeoheim. He understood why he was upset, why he was angry, why he did the things he did. He had heard about his pain, what he was going through, and he thought he understood.

_But he didn't._

He had never understood more than now, Zack had been blind, with rage and disbelief, and all Cloud could do was kiss back and smile like an idiot.

_He hadn't smiled since then._

The man had hurt him, physically almost killed him, and mentally destroyed him. Everything he had ever believed about the man was destroyed in that night. That happy-go-lucky man that never gave up and always had a smile on his face no matter the circumstances had been hurt. He had been broken, defeated, his morale pushed so low that he wasn't Zack anymore. His mind was tested to the brinks of his limits, and he was so focused on everyone falling with him that he forgot to bring himself up.

_He had wanted Cloud to understand. _

Cloud would go tomorrow, and find the man, no matter how much his body didn't want to.

_Then tomorrow came._


	4. Hateful Thinking

He marched through the hallways of the SOLDIER barracks, his boots clomping heavily on the clean tile, heading towards the place he needed to go to, his mind betraying him and his eyes burning. It was a short hallway, there weren't many First Class SOLDIERs, and he didn't think he would ever forget where Zack's room was.

_His ear hurt again. _

He had searched everywhere, every floor, and every corridor that he could be in. He checked if he had a mission, the training room, the briefing room and the materia room, but he wasn't there. He then decided to check out Zack's apartment.

_No matter how much he didn't want to._

He walked faster, huffing lightly under his breath, clenching his fists against his thighs as he made his way throughout the long hallway. He reached the door and paused. He was terrified, scared, angry, and confused. He wasn't sure if he wanted to do this. He wanted to know what would happen.

_He didn't want it to happen again._

Shaking his head and taking a deep breath he looked up at the door with a serious look on his face. He was going to do this; he wasn't going to let his fear take over. Reaching up, he knocked hard and loud on the door. It opened a short while later.

_He looked up into a face of shock and disbelief._

"Cloud?" the man stammered, almost weakly it seemed, voice airy and shocked.

Without a word he moved closer slowly, wrapping his arms around that strong waist and resting his head on his lean chest, listening to his quickening heartbeat.

"What…what are you doing here?" Zack said, not moving, relishing in the touch of the boy he had destroyed.

"I hate you." Cloud mumbled against the fabric of his shirt. "That's why I'm here, because I hate you so much." He pulled him tighter against his body, tears threatening to spill over.

Zack dared to put his hands lightly against the boys back, gently holding him there. "You should."

"You hurt me, so much, you never even stopped, you, almost killed me." His voice was faltering.

_His ear was throbbing._

"There's no point in apologizing." Zack mumbled rubbing Cloud back lightly, leaning down resting his face in the coarse golden locks. "It won't change anything."

"Nothing at all." His voice was rough, harsh, and demanding as Cloud responded, hugging the man even tighter.

"Nothing." Zack repeated, wrapping his arms slightly tighter around the younger man below him.

"But…I understand." Cloud mumbled.

Zack stopped his motions, almost freezing in place.

"I understand why you did it," Cloud kept explaining, "Although I hate the reason." He pulled back looking up into amethyst eyes almost angrily. "You wanted me to feel pain; you wanted me to understand why you were so angry, why you were so upset and misunderstood." He glared. "Why though? Why the fuck did you do that?"

_Zack didn't have an answer._

_The tears were falling freely now._

Zack reached up going to brush the tears away, but at soon as his hand touched Clouds cheek he turned his head violently away.

It was a violent whisper, harsh and demanding, "Don't touch me."

Zack pulled his hand away, leaving it at his side.

_Cloud wasn't scared of him anymore._

Looking up at the man again he glared, pulling away, letting his arms drop from around him. Zack looked down at him, obviously lost in thought. Cloud glared more, his eyes burning and his face flustered, before slapping him across the face. It was a loud clapping sound, enough to leave a mark, he almost broke his cheekbone.

_He was hurt enough._

Cloud panted, getting over his emotionally racked body, standing stiffly there in the doorway. Zack's head slowly came back to face him, his cheek already red and burning, looking down at him with sad apologetic eyes.

_Cloud hated that look._

Hardly thinking he reached up and gripped the SOLDIER's cheeks tightly, pulling him down and kissing his lips lightly. The tears fell once more relishing at the feel of them, being gentle and slow, Zack was scared for him to stop. Cloud started to move his lips then, gliding gently over the elders, and pulling him closer, moving his hands to his neck.

Zack slowly wrapped his arms around the broken boy's waist, not pulling, just resting there; he would do anything for this moment to last. Cloud pushed harder into the kiss, his lips quivering and his fingers gripping tightly. It hurt.

_He wouldn't dare complain._

Zack risked opening his mouth and slowly gliding his tongue along the blonde's shaky lips, and it was surprisingly well received. Cloud moved his tongue to mix with Zack's, moving even closer to the man, standing on his tip-toes and pressing flush against him.

_It had been months._

They both wanted it. But as Zack's hands dared to slide up his sides, Cloud bit down on his tongue, hard. It drew blood, and the blonde boys lips were stained with is as he pulled away, looking up at the elder man, cheeks flushed, eyes red and glinting with hate.

"_I said don't touch me."_

Zack stepped away, holding his hands up to his sides admitting his wrongdoing, eyes looking at Cloud's with understanding and sadness. Cloud licked the blood off his lips, turning his head away.

_It was metallic tasting, the blood._

It reminded him of all the blood that was forced from his body that night, the earring that was so harshly ripped out of his ear, and all the pain that he had endured. Turning his head back to the man in front of him, he glanced at the man's ears. Both had piercings. He growled deep in his throat, moving closer and pressing his body flush against Zack's once more. Zack didn't move, only sighed at the feeling. Cloud reached up and breathed lightly onto the ear that belonged to the man. He gently kissed the lobe, tongue twirling over the metal stub.

"Cloud," It was almost a warning.

Teeth enclosed over the metal, and cloud mumbled, "That was taking it too far Zack, the rest I might have forgiven."

Zack sighed shakily, tensing up and getting ready for what was to happen.

"You need to know the difference between physical pain and mental pain." His teeth slowly tugged on the metal, earning an almost shocked gasp from the older man. He wanted to rip out the earring slowly, putting him through all the pain that he had gone through that night, all concentrated into one spot. Then he would rip out the other earring, quickly and painfully as all the emotional terror he had gone through over the last few months.

_But it wouldn't have been enough._

"I will always hate you for that." He gave the earring one sharper tug before pulling back and walking out.

Zack grabbed his hand, not pulling; he just stopped him from walking out. Zack moved towards him holding his hand tightly to his own. He bent down over the back of the blonde and whispered into his ear.

"I will always love you." Zack said, letting go of his hand.

"How can you say that?" Cloud whipped around angrier than ever, "How am I supposed to believe you when you've done all of that? How the hell can you even think that, after what you've don't to me, that you can even express that?" He glared clenching his teeth and looking up angrily into the SOLDIERS eyes. "You have no right." This time he didn't run away, Cloud stayed put, seething with anger.

"But it's the truth-"

"Shut the hell up." Cloud cut him off, still not turning to face him, his voice was shaky. His shoulders were shaking, his eyes clenched tight. He wasn't going to cry again.

_Too late._

The tears slipped past his eyes and as he felt it running down his cheek he turned around and slammed into the older mans chest wrapping his arms around his waist tightly and sobbing into his chest. Zack wrapped his arms tightly around the man, careful not to cause the man to feel trapped.

Cloud cried for a long time. He cried because he was confused, because he was sad, cried because Zack was holding him so gently, yet so lovingly, and he cried because even after all that this man in front of him had put him through, he knew he still loved him. He could say 'I hate you' a hundred times, and nothing would change. His feelings were glued to the heart of this man, and he pulled himself closer, clutching at the broad back and pressing himself as close as he possibly could.

_Fuck._

Zack held him there until the sobs quieted and the shoulders stopped shaking, he picked up the fragile boy and carried him tenderly to the couch, sitting the blonde on his lap and holding him close. He ran his fingers slowly through the blonde mess of spikes and his eyes sparkled as he realized that Cloud was letting him touch. Cloud leaned in closer to him, pressing his forehead into his warm soft neck and closed his eyes, letting the warmth was over him and hold him close.

_Damnit._

Cloud felt his eyes drooping, the exhaustion of the day overwhelming him, as well as the lack of sleep from the past few months. His head went limp against Zack's chest and he closed his eyes letting sleep slowly overtake him.

Just as he drifted off, he felt a shifting of clothes and a softly breath against his cheek. He leaned his head against Zack's, and sighed softly, as he felt warm lips press against his ear once more. He missed this feeling, of complete belonging and understanding. He would never trust Zack again, and he would always be scared of him in those pinned up situations. He had changed, for the worst, and there was no going back. But Cloud still loved him, and that was all that mattered, his paranoia wasn't going to get the best of him this time. Right before his body fully succumbed to sleep Zack muttered one thing into his ear.

"_I'm sorry."_

End of the story

Hope you liked!

Please be kind in your reviews...:D

~Ailahy


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